I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Randomize
