I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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