if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
