We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
