It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We're not piercing ourselves today.
did you just send me my own nude
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
