that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
