i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
