I look better un-naked...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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