Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Ketchup is God's man juice
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
