i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
