How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
