this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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