I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
