D3 body, D1 cock
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
