Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
