I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
