In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
