I think i peed on brittanys purse
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
