playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
