You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
