im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize