I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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