We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
