I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
