I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
