I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dignity is for republicans.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
