too bad you live with your parents still
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize