On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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