It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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