I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
