Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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