Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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