my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
