im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
