New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
