My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
