So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
