i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
