i don't like sucking hair
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
