On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
