I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
