He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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