hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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