winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
