we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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