What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
