Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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