I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Congratulations! We have a period
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
