all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
