Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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