This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
