I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
