I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
