Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize