NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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