i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize