Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
