boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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